Busy as a rocket propelled chainsaw

I think Mike needs a Chainsaw! You don't have to have a permit to conceal a chainsaw in Alabama?
I've been trying to convince my wife that I need a chainsaw for Christmas. Unfortunately, because I live in the desert and don't have trees, it is hard to come up with any legitimate reason to own a chainsaw. It always goes something like this:
Me: "Look Baby! Lowel's is having a sale on chainsaws!"
Her: "Why do you need a chainsaw?"
Damn her logic! At this point I have to shut up because I sound childish and stupid if I say "Because it would be cool to have."
Maybe I could get her on board if I told her "I need to attach it to my great grandpa's Spanish American War rifle."
That sounds much more reasonable.